Children. I desire them. Of course I want the full package deal. God fearing husband, as many kids that I'm able to bear, nice sized house with iron fence, and a couple of dogs to make it complete. That is what I want for my life here on earth.
But children...... Children, in my opinion, appear to be God's way of teaching us vital lessons in our lives. One of those lessons being patience. I thought my patience was as strong as it could be, that is until I started living with my family and their two kids. Lol I love being around them as it makes me happy to see them growing before my eyes. I see their personality changes, and body changes almost daily. The simplest accomplishments have me so excited, as if they were my own. Like I said, I desire them. Children, I mean.
But patience. Lol I still have a ways to go. Through all of my blessings these past 82 days, the most important ones have to do with my own personal growth. Realizing that I'm not as strong emotionally as I thought I was. I'm not as patient and forgiving as I want to be. I rarely ever forget the things that bother me, but I hardly remember the things that mean the most. That means I'm taking advantage of my relationships with my loved ones. For that, I apologize.
Back to patience.... I have a tendency to react before I'm supposed to. I tend to jump the gun and in return, do things that affect me and maybe others. Not only did I mess myself up, but I doubted my faith. I allowed my fear to dictate the outcome of my situation instead of letting God move. He's told me time and time again to, wait. Through various forms of confirmation, I was told to wait. I did the opposite and messed up.
My point is, patience, is like unconditional love. You either have it or you don't. You either trust God completely, or you don't. I'm blessed because I realize the error of my ways. I'm happy because not only did I doubt God, but I have complete faith that he will and has forgiven me. In the end, that's all that matters.
